


Love Like Revenge

by dolphinitley



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, mention of past sexual abuse, smut in chapter 6 & 7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-10-24 01:08:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17694689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolphinitley/pseuds/dolphinitley
Summary: Rook eradicates most of Eden's Gate and has the final battle with Jacob, ending with him being injured and she being rescued. She goes to her home in the neighboring county for peace, but she and Jacob still can't stop thinking about each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me on Tumblr @dolphinitley! I love comments and thank you for reading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rook tries to take down Jacob but he was a step ahead of her the whole time.

“One, two three. One, two, three. One, two, three, and then he’s got you!”

Staci tried to warn Rook but it was too late. Jacob already had her. He had her the moment they locked eyes in the church. The trials just strengthened the pull.

Even though Jacob was not as religious as Joseph, Jacob agreed that mankind was in crisis, and that they should build an “ark” for the strongest who survived God’s cleansing fire. In Jacob’s book, the ark was equivalent to bunkers, the strongest of the herd would be deemed so by the Seeds, and the cleansing fire would come from international nuclear war.

Jacob had surveillance in the Whitetail Mountains just as Eli had. Jacob watched for days as Rook killed his men and destroyed what he’d built, but he wasn’t as upset as he was impressed. From what he witnessed, he decided that Rook was worth capturing, conditioning, and using to kill Eli.

It had been years since Jacob had these sort of feelings for anyone, but when he watched Rook blow through his trials like no recruit had before her, he knew that what he felt was desire.

He had to check himself, because having feelings like these could result in moments of weakness, and it wasn’t his time to go yet.

His ultimate loyalty was to Joseph and the Project, and he would carry out the fourth and final trial, ending with the actual assassination of Eli Palmer.

Jacob figured that once Dep killed Eli, the Whitetails might just kill her themselves, or Jacob’s men would. This meant it would be the last time he’d see her, and deep inside he felt negatively about that. He decided to have some fun with her in her last moments.

His way of toying with her was to set the music box just out of reach near her cage, and watch her desperately grab for it as if it were the only existing trigger of her murderous state.

Jacob felt pleasure at the contact when he quickly covered her wrist with his boot, then felt the need to reassure her just a bit. “Don’t worry you’ll be out of here soon enough.”

When Jacob told the deputy that she was a tool, he wanted to emphasize it not only to her but to himself as well. He knew both of their purposes.

He really was half tempted to let her out of that cage, haul her over his shoulder, and keep her as his personal pet. But he didn’t.

Since he felt discarded by the military, it was easier for him to view himself and everyone else as having a clear specific purpose in life. Jacob had always been the protector of his brothers. Joseph especially had given him a place and a purpose to exercise his military training after the war. Jacob felt wanted by Joseph when nobody else wanted him anymore. For this, he would die for his dear brother Joseph, and he’d do it gladly.

Jacob trained an army for Joseph. Jacob was the strongest among the herd. Nobody came close to matching his strength, until Rook. Even if the deputy was damn skinny, she knew how to use her body to spar efficiently and she was smart. She took down Peggies twice her size hand to hand and was an expert in weaponry.

It would be selfish and unnecessary, Jacob thought, to indulge in the daydreams he harbored about the deputy. Feelings of desire were not part of his purpose, but when he watched Dep on surveillance, he couldn’t help but be infatuated and impressed that she was the one person who showed a fire in her heart. She seemed to know her purpose and showed it through every action she made.

At first Jacob thought that she thought her purpose was to be an underdog hero, but that couldn’t be right. The resistance treated her as a hero but she shied away from those compliments.

She seemed to have some unknown purpose, more certain than any other, but he just could not figure out what it was.

Most people were too afraid to look into his eyes but she seemed to stare right into them when they were together. It was like she saw his truth and kept it a secret between just the two of them. This is what made him lean in and tug her chair closer to him during the first conditioning session. He wanted more of this genuine contact communicated only through a look.

He couldn’t understand why Rook never seemed truly terrified even when she was tied up in a chair or starving in a cage. She had an energy around her that said that all was going to be alright, because she had an established yet mysterious purpose.

Despite his violent actions and connections with the cult, the connection she felt with him did not falter. In fact it only got stronger. She couldn’t stop the stupid voice in her head that said, “In another life, he and I would be together.”

She stayed in Hope County and acted as a tool for the Resistance as well as the Cult. Her continued exposure to the Bliss made her slightly docile and likely to go wherever this ride would take her.

Eventually it led her to kill Eli, countless Peggies, and almost Jacob.

-

As Rook climbs the rock to Jacob’s perch, she listens to his little speech, knowing she has beaten him. She’s expecting to find him beaten and bloody, but when she reaches the top she doesn’t see him.

A momentary panic sets in, and then she feels the telltale pang of a Bliss injection.

Damn, he’s got to be the most silent son of a bitch alive. Jacob catches Rook as she falls backward against him, weakened from the Bliss.

It doesn’t matter how Rook got to this point. The progressive mistakes and choices she made to be right here, are in the past.

“Fight,” she says to herself through gritted teeth. “Fight it.” This dose of Bliss is somewhat weak and there’s a glimmer of hope in her drugged mind that she can escape. But then she considers the question, “Do I want to?”

This is her last chance to get what she wants in this life instead of her next life. She knows it isn’t what her friends want her to do. It isn’t what she’d want a month ago. But right know she’s damned all of those restrictions and she’s half convinced she’s going to surrender to Jacob Seed.

Rook’s limbs go slack, but her eyes stay alert.

“Oh Honey, what’s wrong?” Jacob mocks.

“I want you. This is the only way I’m going to get you.” Rook spoke simply and matter-of-factly. She would have been embarrassed if she weren’t so damn tired.

Jacob scoffs. “Now I’d love to believe you Kitten, but I know you got a hell of a lot more fight in you than that.”

He’s holding her back against his broad chest, and whispers in her ear, “My best soldier.”

His words spark her interest and she tips her head toward his face and gives him her classic look that gets his blood pumping.

It’s the look she gives when she’s eye level with his thigh holster, when she watches Staci shave him, and when he gets close enough for her to practically feel the vibration of his growling voice.

His praise is enough and her muscles come to life. She wrenches herself from his grip for two seconds before she’s caught again and punished with another dose of Bliss.

Finally Jacob gets to sling her over his shoulder and haul her back to his rooms at the Veteran Center.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hudson, Sharky, and Jess set out to rescue Rook from Jacob.

Sharky, Hudson, and Jess were hanging out around a table at the old 8 Bit Pizza Bar. 

“Rook’s never gone this long without checking in.” Hudson was focusedly fumbling with her fingernails.

Jess sat with her elbow on the table, holding the side of her worrisome face in her hand.“I shouldn’t have left her. She said she wanted to spend some time alone but we’ve really been pissing off Jacob lately.”

Sharky and Hudson looked at Jess with sympathetic faces.

“I just feel like Jacob’s got her again,” said Jess. 

Hudson’s radio starting crackling. The Sheriff was trying to get ahold of her. 

“Hudson, check in with me when you can. Over.”

Hudson picked up her walkie and spoke into it. “Go ahead, Sheriff. Over.”

“I got some sensitive news. Are you in a secure location? Over.”

Hudson had grown so close to Sharky and Jess these past few weeks. Since the police department cut salaries, law enforcement were basically on a volunteer basis. Hudson thought that Sharky and Jess more than proved themselves worthy to hear whatever Sheriff Whitehorse had to say. 

“Yes, Sheriff. Over.”

Whitehorse sighed over the walkie before saying, “I just got word from the Whitetails that Rook’s killed Eli.”

Sharky, Jess, and Hudson stared at the walkie with confused faces. 

“They think she was under the influence of Jacob’s conditioning. But apparently now she’s gone on a warpath to find him and kill him. Think you can head up to the mountains and find her before she gets herself killed? Over.”

Jess was already collecting her arrows and Sharky was grabbing his keys. 

“On it. Over.” replied Hudson.  
-  
The trio started at the Wolf’s Den and tracked Dep from there. It wasn’t that hard to follow the trail of dead Peggies. Hudson spotted a strange figure across the field. She took out her binoculars to get a closer look. 

“Fuck! He’s got her. She looks unconscious.”

“Let me see,” said Sharky, who took a look then handed the binoculars to Jess. 

“Alright. I got a plan,” said Sharky. 

Jess and Hudson listened to Sharky’s ridiculous plan. They didn’t love it, but time was running out. Jacob would be much harder to track than the Deputy was and his soldiers could be anywhere.  
-  
With Dep slung over his shoulder, Jacob tried to get out of the open field and into the woods as soon as possible. It would be a quarter of an hour before his soldiers could get a chopper to him. Good thing he had the Bliss on him to tame the Deputy. 

The woods seemed empty and quiet until Jacob identified the sound of crackling fire and smell of smoke. He began to pick up the pace. 

The fire grew fast, forcing Jacob to run out of the woods and onto the road, where he set the Deputy down on the pavement. Where was that damn chopper?

With Jacob in the open and Dep off his shoulder, Jess felt she had a good enough shot to take him down. The sound of a helicopter approached as Jess released the arrow, which hit Jacob in the backside. It wasn’t fatal, but it was very painful.

“What the fuck!?” he growled. In the chaos of approaching fire, lowering chopper, and the arrow stuck in his flesh, Jacob lost focus on the Deputy. This gave Hudson, Jess, and Sharky the opportunity to swoop in with the Cougar van and barely drag Dep inside. As they sped away, they heard the sound of bullets against the van and Jacob’s frustrated roar.  
-  
Once again, Dep came out of the Bliss on a cot in the jail with Tracey by her side. It got harder each time to get back into her usual headspace after being injected. She didn’t know how much more of it she could handle. 

“You awake there, Dep?” asked Tracey.

Dep nodded. “What happened?”

“How much do you remember?”

Dep took a moment to try and remember what was real and what was the Bliss or conditioning. “Oh no. I...I killed...Eli?”

Tracey nodded solemnly. “You killed a couple dozen Peggies right after, then Jacob got his hands on you. Hudson, Jess, and Sharky came through as the rescue squad and brought you here. ‘Bout started a forest fire while they were at it. Jess shot Jacob in the ass.”

The last couple of sentences had Dep half grinning at how classically ‘Sharky and Jess’ that sounded.

Hudson came in the room and sat down on the cot next to Dep. “You alright Rook? You look like hell.”

“Yeah,” replied Dep tiredly. “What happened to Jacob?”

“The Chosen came and got him. He seemed alright. I don’t think he’s dead.”

This made Dep angry and guilty, but deep down she was relieved that her infuriating mountain man was still alive. 

“I think it’s time for you to take a break, Rook,” said Hudson. “Eden’s Gate is on its last legs. There’s no roadblocks left. The Cougars and Whitetails can take care of it from here. We got Staci out of the Vet Center. Maybe it’s time we enjoy life while we can, ya know?”

Rook considered Hudson’s words and just nodded. Hudson wasn’t wrong. What more could she do here besides hunt for Jacob? Her body and mind were screaming for rest. She considered heading up to her house in the neighboring county to the north for a few weeks.

“Just think about it. Take all the time you need. We’re here for you.”  
-  
Walking into her own home for the first time in weeks had Rook feeling surreal. Everything was as she’d left it. Her cat seemed to fare alright by using the cat door to come and go as he pleased. 

She broke down on her living room floor, hugging her cat. After an hour she got up and took a hot bath, focusing on breathing deeply. Then she ate some food and hot tea, and slept for a long time. 

Rook made a point to check in with Hudson and her other friends every couple of days. Otherwise, she focused on work around the house and outside. She tried to recover from the hell she spent in Hope County, but it was tough.  
-  
Early one morning, when the sky was only a pale blue, her phone rang.  
“Hello.”  
“Deputy.”  
Rook swallowed her fear and it turned into sickness. “Jacob,” she whispered.  
“How are you holding up, Deputy? Been a couple weeks since I’ve seen you around the mountains.”  
“What do you want?”  
“You first. When we were on that rock you said that you wanted me and that it was the only way you were going to get me. What did you mean?” Jacob sounded less mocking than usual.  
“Don’t pretend to be civil. I know how much you want me dead.”  
“Deputy, if I really wanted you dead I’d have had it done a long time ago. But I don’t, and it’s getting to be a real pain in the ass.”  
“I did the job you wanted done. I served my purpose. Now I’m gone. Just leave me alone.” The Deputy hung up the phone and went back to sleep in her warm bed.  
-  
After she hung up on him, Jacob tossed his phone on his desk and sighed. He thought about her too much. He wanted her too much. He spent less time working and more time thinking of how he could get to her. Whatever he did, it would have be just him because everyone in the Whitetail Mountains wanted her dead. So on his own, he found out where she lived and her habits. She sometimes hunted just north of the Hope County border and he decided to find her there.  
-  
Dep was walking slowly and quietly through the woods with her bow, looking for any sign of deer. She began going out more often when most grocery stores closed down or majorly cut down on their stock. It was yet another indication of the impending collapse that she tried to ignore. At least the hunting got her outside and moving. Her time in Hope County left her a mess that she wasn’t sure she could fully recover from. 

She suddenly felt a presence behind her, but it was just a moment too late. As soon as she turned around, a six foot camo clad figure grabbed her bow, dropped it to the ground, and grabbed both her wrists in the blink of an eye. She was about to kick him in the groin until the figure pulled down his gaiter to reveal a red beard. It was Jacob and she was quite disarmed, but only for a moment. She began thrashing in his grip while he tried to calm her like she was an angry Judge.

“Deputy, you’ve got to calm down. I’m not here to take you. I’m not gonna hurt you,” Jacob tried in his most soothing voice. She wouldn’t stop fighting so Jacob brought her to the ground and pinned her. “Calm. Down. Soldier.” This got her attention and she stilled, staring up at him and out of breath. The look in her eyes was wild.

“I’m gonna let you up now, and you’re going to remain calm, alright?”

Dep nodded and Jacob released her. They got up to their feet quickly. 

“If you’re not here to take me or kill me, what do you want?”  
“I just missed my Deputy.” Jacob was speaking in his usual mocking tone and Rook wasn’t having it. His presence alone was so triggering of her time in Hope.  
“Shut the fuck up,” she said with a biting tone. She tried to sound tough but her eyes were welling up. “You ruined me. I could have died and you wouldn’t have cared.” Her voice was breaking.  
“I would have cared.” Jacob’s tone was more serious now.  
“You fucking psychopath.” Rook was starting to hyperventilate. Jacob slowly closed the few feet of distance between them with his hands held up in a surrendering position. “You...you...” Rook tried to speak between sobs but it was useless. Once Jacob was close enough he quickly wrapped her in his arms and held her gently. The feeling of him being gentle made Rook dizzy. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Jacob has always ever been extremely rough with her and threatening to her. She had been so sad, and the feel and smell of Jacob’s large body enveloping her made her feel just a little bit better. She buried her face in his coat.  
“You’re almost as far gone as I am,” Jacob said softly.  
Rook half heartedly beat a fist against his chest in response. How dare he compare himself to her? She didn’t think she could ever be as evil as him.  
Once she completely stopped crying and shuddering, she looked up from Jacob’s chest and took a step away from him. His eyes were the definition of piercing blue. Rook still could not figure out what he wanted.  
Jacob slowly grabbed her bow from the ground and handed it to her. Now even he didn’t know what he was trying to do here. He saw just how much he had broken her, and he needed to figure out how to help her. For now all he could do was hang a water canteen around her neck and place a couple of MREs in her backpack.  
Without any more words, Rook quickly walked back home. She glanced back at him twice and he was still there watching her. The third time she looked, he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob attempts to get real domestic.

Jacob was in deep thought as he walked through the woods to his vehicle. The few minutes he spent with Rook verified how he felt for her. It was something instinctual, chemical, and primal. He couldn’t believe that the phrase “love at first sight” had passed through his mind, but there was no other explanation. 

He let her walk away because he could see how upsetting his presence was to her. Part of him wanted to stay away and continue the life he led before he met her. But he had a feeling that his life was forever split into two parts. They weren’t before and after surviving the desert. They were before and after her. 

She was the first person he’d ever felt remorse about conditioning. He was proud that he was able to get her to kill Eli, but he didn’t truly want to throw her away, even though it was the plan he had agreed on with Joseph. Now that she was gone from Hope, Joseph was less concerned about Rook’s existence and more focused on taking back PEG’s strongholds that she took. 

Jacob continued training his soldiers, but stopped the music box conditioning. He felt like that was something he would share with no one else after Rook. The lyrics “only you” were especially damning because they accurately described how he felt about her. 

He didn’t allow his soldiers to speak of her. More than usual, he worked, read, and exercised to keep his mind occupied. 

The first victory of body over mind came two weeks after seeing her in the woods, when Jacob identified a physical tension borne from his unfulfilled desire for Rook. He realized this while showering, rested his forearm against the tile wall, and hung his head in defeat. Whatever he could do for himself would never measure up to being with her. He sighed, ran his fingers through his wet hair, and decided that he was going to try and see her again. 

At dusk he put on a clean long sleeve camo shirt, black jacket, and jeans. He had been driving less than a mile when rain clouds quickly moved in and a downpour began. It followed him all the way to her house. 

Jacob’s headlights shone through her living room windows, alerting Rook that he had arrived. He jogged to her front door and gave a curt rap. 

He tried his hands behind his back, then in his pockets, then hanging by his side. He couldn’t decide. He wanted to win her over. 

Rook opened her front door and saw Jacob leaning on one hand against the door frame, and the other in his jacket pocket. He was getting wet from rain and she couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be romantic or not.

She was out of breath, her face was somewhat red, and there was sweat on her temples. Jacob assumed he’d interrupted her workout. He quite liked the way she looked right now, except there was a faint puffiness of her eyes that said she’d been crying recently. 

“Can I come in,” Jacob murmured with a nod.

Rook wordlessly turned away but left the door hanging open for him. Music was playing and she continued her body weight workout. Jacob sat on the couch with one leg stretched across and the other foot on the floor. Rook’s Maine Coon almost immediately jumped on Jacob’s lap and began to purr when Jacob stroked him. This was the most affectionate she’d ever seen him, and she did her best to stifle a smirk. 

Jacob rested his head against the top of the couch and his eyes lazily transposed between the cat and Rook. She was wearing a loose white t shirt and running shorts. Jacob enjoyed the look of her thighs working hard. He watched her do push ups and sit ups with an almost military-like determination. She’d never admit it but she was pushing harder than usual for him. 

After a half hour, she had finished her workout. She laid on the exercise mat in exhaustion. Jacob imagined how warm she must be right now. 

He removed the weapons from his thigh holster and set them on the coffee table. 

When Rook went to take a shower, she made a point to lock the bathroom door. 

Jacob looked through her kitchen and found mostly dry and canned goods. He wanted to do something nice for her, so he made dinner.

During the short walk from the bathroom to her bedroom, she smelled the cooking and gave an amused face at Jacob, who was focused on stirring. 

Rook emerged from her bedroom wearing a t shirt and another pair of running shorts. Spaghetti was plated on the dining table. Jacob looked so pleased with himself. 

With a washcloth slung over his shoulder, he raised his hands and said, “Not bad right?”

“Not bad,” Rook said with a small smile that she couldn’t hide. 

After they quietly ate, Jacob relaxed on the couch again, feeling so calm and at home.

As Rook walked into the living room, she casually kneaded muscle rub into her neck and shoulder with her fingers. 

“You sore, Dep?”

She shrugged and Jacob quickly pulled her to his lap so that they were both sitting up and facing the same direction. Her facial expression remained neutral, as if sitting on his lap waiting to be tended to was a normal occurrence. 

He softly rested his large hands on her shoulders, and began massaging with his thumbs. Rook relaxed and released a deep breath. She liked the feeling of his thigh holster against her skin. A month ago she would have been extremely tense in this situation, but now her emotional state was exhausted and morose. If he wanted to massage her, she wasn’t going to stop him. In fact, she rather enjoyed his confident calloused hands on her. 

“Damn, you’re tight Dep.” 

For a second she squinted, trying to figure out what he meant. She realized that he was talking about her shoulders, and felt misplaced pride in being so wound up.

“When’s the last time you’ve had a massage, hm?” 

Rook gave a lackluster laugh in response because she honestly couldn’t remember. In any case, she’d had an aversion to being touched for as long as she could remember. Often she’d shy away from a friendly touch on the arm and was never the friend to initiate a hug. 

She revelled in Jacob’s attention. How special she must be to be treated this way by The Soldier, she thought. Most other people were not so lucky. Not even close. 

“Jacob, I’m going to start crying again if you don’t tell me what made you come here.” This wasn’t a threat, but a fact. She cried often these days at the smallest reminders of Hope. 

Jacob ran his hands up her neck and into her hair. He took a deep breath and rested his forehead against the back of her neck. He spoke slowly. “I am so sorry for conditioning you, and making you feel the pain I once felt. And I’m here because when I’m with you, like this, my head is clear.”

The feeling of his voice against her back was chilling. Rook turned her head and Jacob lifted his. Silent tears fell down his cheeks. Rook was already crying despite her promise not to. She held his face and brushed his away tears with her thumbs. 

“You said you wouldn’t cry if I told you.”

Her only response was to throw her arms around his neck and curl up to his torso and shoulder. 

“I’ve killed so many,” she sobbed. “And for what? The world’s gonna end soon anyway.” She was getting his shoulder wet with tears. 

Jacob wasn’t going to say he told her so. He wasn’t going to say that’s what she gets for trying to be a hero. He only hummed in the affirmative, and the vibrations of his voice were comforting to her. 

“Is that story about Miller true?”

Jacob gently played with Rook’s brown hair as he considered how to respond. 

“Yeah. Yeah, it is. I think about it a lot. Wish I didn’t.” 

Rook outstretched her legs, grabbed a blanket hanging on the back of the couch, and draped it over both of their bodies. She settled her small frame into his large body and closed her eyes. 

Jacob’s mind was no longer on his difficult past, but now on Rook’s body. She was so trusting in him and she really shouldn’t have been, he thought. But, this was what he wanted. 

In her vulnerable state he was reminded of how young she was. He thought about what he was like when he was her age. Serving a tour probably. Descending deeper into his personal madness. 

Again he snapped out of deep thought when a sleepy Rook hooked her calf over his knee. He sunk lower on the couch and dozed off. 

He awoke in the middle of the night, surprisingly not out of a horror filled nightmare. The weight of Rook and her cat, Tommy, had soothed him. 

He gently lifted his leg to nudge a sleepy disgruntled Tommy off, then slid out from under Rook and carried her to her bedroom. 

Jacob did his best to commit to memory the image of Rook so at peace. Even though he’d love to get more restful sleep, he still had work to do in Hope. For the first time, he let the selfish thought creep in that maybe he wasn’t yet ready to die for Joseph.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rook’s real name is revealed and she and Jacob kiss for the first time!

Rook woke up late in the morning. She pondered if last night was real or a dream. The Wolf came to her house, made her dinner, cried with her, apologized to her, and slept with her. 

But that didn’t change the fact that he was still leading the PEG military. He was still part of an organization that kidnapped and killed non supporters without provocation. He still sponsored The Cook who butchered and burned families in front of each other. 

When Rook lived in her hometown, she would have consulted her best friend about her romantic life. However, if she were still home, she probably wouldn’t be having feelings for a killer. She wouldn’t be a killer. 

Her new friends here in Montana understood her recent behavior that would seem horrific to people back home. Rook found great friendships in Hudson and Jess, but knew neither of them would condone her feelings for Jacob. 

When she moved to Montana a couple of months ago, she intended to keep a low profile. She didn’t expect to make real friends or make a life here, but she did. 

When Rook earned her master’s in criminal justice, she didn’t expect to be fighting a war against a militant cult.

When she began working as a detective in Minnesota, she didn’t expect to be killing zombie-like Angels. 

When she was assigned to go undercover in Hope County, she didn’t expect to be the heralded catalyst of the end of the world. 

But all of these things, she did. 

Her exceptional performance as a detective in Minnesota drew the admiration of the U.S. Marshall Service. However, it also drew death threats from criminals she’d once put away. The USMS’s solution for this was to relocate her to Montana to investigate mysterious disappearances in Hope County. She was to take on the role of an unassuming rookie for Whitehorse and learn about PEG. 

The USMS sent Burke in too early. They didn’t listen to her when she said that PEG was too strong for one squad to take on. With or without her, the squad was going to the compound, so she figured she might as well go and help any way she could. That was her first mistake. 

That’s what she thought about when the helicopter was going down and when she was killing dozens of Peggies from the passenger seat of the getaway truck Burke drove. Then it was too late to escape Hope County, and she was in it too deep. 

She trusted Dutch so quickly. She became a tool for him so easily. She wanted to rescue her team from the Seeds, but a lot of shit got in the way. 

Rook was a natural leader, but didn’t enjoy being called a hero. She didn’t want to be deified. She just wanted to do the right thing. Her exposure to the Bliss and gruesome battle made her judgement more clouded over time. She had been trained to kill, but in Hope killing is quick and on a massive scale. It was war and it gave her scars. 

She thought she’d be stronger than this. Life would never go back to the way it was before Hope. You can’t just fall back into your old life after war. The person who understood this more than anyone was Jacob. He was smart and strong enough to survive anything.

Since Rook left Hope County, she’d been working on her report to send to her sergeant from the USMS. When she finally sent it in, she made the call. 

“It’s a relief to hear from you, Anderson,” the sergeant said. It was strange and comforting to hear someone use her real last name for the first time in weeks. “Your report is impressive. Good work.” This phrase reminded her of Jacob’s praise after she killed Eli, and she clenched her teeth. 

“Thanks.”

“I wish I could say your assignment is over and that you can go home, but it’s still not safe for you.”

Rook gave a disappointed sigh. She missed her family so much. “I understand.”

“I wish I could offer you some kind of treatment, but the budget has been cut again. Our resources are drying up. I don’t even think we can send a team into Hope County to deal with Eden’s Gate. Just stay where you are and relax. I’ll call you in a few months when it’s safe again. Take care of yourself Detective.”

“You too Serge.” 

-

A few days later it was Rook who called Jacob in the morning. 

“I’m standing in my kitchen right now, looking out the window, and there’s a Judge wolf who literally barked Tommy up a tree.” 

“And you haven't shot it yet?”

“Hey, I’m doing a courtesy to you by letting you know. Anyway, I’m not going to waste ammo on it. I thought Judges were supposed to be obedient, soldier. Don’t tell me you sent it up here just to get my attention.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Dep.” She could hear his smile in his tone. “It’ll be dealt with within the hour.”

Forty minutes later, Jacob’s truck came rumbling up her gravel driveway. She watched his tall and confident figure get out of the truck. Jacob sounded his dog whistle to summon the Judge to its kennel in the back of the truck. Rook felt pity for the poor wolf that now had to live as a Judge, and she didn’t like that Jacob was the person who made it that way. But, she still admired how strong he looked, how focused and blue his eyes were, and his unique red hair and beard. Despite everything she’s seen, Rook knew that there was a good man in Jacob. 

When the Judge was secured in the kennel, Rook stepped outside. She didn’t quite know what to say to Jacob, so she went right for the tree that Tommy was in. Tommy could get down on his own, but she wanted to hold him now.

Jacob watched Rook call to Tommy with her arms raised and her head craning up. He chuckled and walked over to the tree. Quickly he climbed the tree to where Tommy was and grabbed the cat. Rook noticed how all animals seemed to obey him. Hell, even most humans did. 

Jacob carried the fluffy orange cat over to Rook with a smug look on his face.

“Thank you,” she said. 

“Yeah...sorry about that. Won’t happen again.”

Rook stroked Tommy’s fur happily and gave a shrug. 

“Anything else I can do for you?” Jacob asked. 

“Actually, yes. Follow me.”

There was a lightbulb out in her house that she couldn’t reach to change. She figured that she might as well use Jacob’s height while he’s here. 

“How do you not have a ladder?” he asked.

“I, uh, haven’t lived here for very long.” 

“Hm.” He wanted to know her story, but got the feeling she didn’t want to talk about it. He quite enjoyed helping her and seeing her satisfied with something he’d done, even if it was an easy task.

Jacob noticed a backpack on the living room floor with the name “Emily” embroidered on it. It was the answer to a question he’d often thought about. 

“Emily?”

She turned at the sound of her name. She saw what he discovered and grinned at the realization. “Yes?” 

“I’ve always kinda wondered what your name was. I like it,” Jacob said while scratching his beard. 

“At home people sometimes call me Em or Emma. But everyone here in Montana calls me Dep or Rook, except you. I’d like to keep it that way if you don’t mind.”

“Right. I’ve got to get the Judge back to the Center now.” Jacob walked to the door and stopped. “Hey Em,” he called. It was so intimate to call her by a friendly nickname. “Would it, uh, be alright if I came back sometime?”

“Doesn’t really matter what I say, right? You’re gonna come back anyway.”

Jacob realized that his past visits were intrusions and actually wrong. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t.”

“It’s alright. You can come back sometime.”

“Alright.”

Em often thought about Jacob’s reason for his previous visit. “When I’m with you, like this, my head is clear.” 

That was her purpose for him, she thought. She was his soothing drug. She viewed him as less of a threat now, but was still a little suspicious. Nonetheless, she very often dreamt of touching him. 

-

Em got out of Hope County and listened to radio stations that weren’t controlled by Peggies. The news on the radio was still just as bad as it was in Hope and getting worse. The most recent report was that the U.S. government had lost communication with North Korea, and the first attack was to be expected at any time. 

One of Em’s neighbors decided to move back to their hometown to be with their family, and gave their horse to Em. Her house had a barn and fenced in meadow, and she’d had horses as a girl. Her new horse’s name was Honey on account of her color and kindness. Riding her each day was rather therapeutic for Em. 

She was riding at dusk one day when Jacob came to visit her. Tonight he wore dark jeans, a gray t shirt, and a black hard shell jacket while Em wore light jeans and a hoodie. Her brown hair was in a ponytail. 

Em wondered how her horse would feel about Jacob. She shouldn’t have been surprised when Honey liked him, as all other animals did. Jacob climbed the fence to the meadow and held the horse’s head in his big hands. 

“Are you hungry?” Jacob asked with his straight lipped smile. He was looking up at Em sitting on the horse. Usually she was the one looking up at him. She nodded in the affirmative.

“Good. I brought dinner. Here.” Jacob gestured for her to hand him the reigns. 

He led Honey to the barn. Honey was a rather tall horse and Em was 5’4”, so it was quite a jump from Honey’s back to the ground. Right as Em’s feet hit the ground, she felt the slightest grace of Jacob’s hand on her back, just in case.

They went inside the house and washed the dirt off their hands. Em took off her hoodie to reveal a Rye Aviation t-shirt.

Jacob brought in a large paper bag of random things he grabbed from the Vet Center pantry. 

He included a six pack of beer bottles, but it only took two for Em to loosen up and want to talk with him. 

Sitting across from Jacob at her kitchen table she said, “You know, I’m not really into religion at all.”

“Me neither. But I take care of my brothers.”

“You guys are close, huh?”

Jacob had the remaining four beers which loosened him up as well. 

“Growing up we only had each other. Or more like the thought of each other. Most adults were shit to us. We were poor. Our dad preached to us and beat us half to death. Our mom was a shell of a person. Our foster parents worked us half to death. I burned their barn and went to juvie, then I didn’t see my brothers again until I got out of the military. The thought of them was the only thing that kept me going until Joseph found me.” 

Em was flooded with empathy for the brothers. His story made her want to adopt children so they’d not ever have to be abused by people like those from Jacob’s past, and she told him that. 

“Do you want to sit on the couch? Watch a movie or something?” Jacob asked.

Em put in a soothing movie that she’d seen a hundred times while Jacob cleaned up dinner.

Em laid on the couch, and Jacob lifted her legs easily, sat on the couch, and set her legs on top of his thighs. 

The movie was about 10 minutes in when Em asked, “You still brainwashing people?”

Jacob felt bad about his past actions. “No. I don’t do a lot of the stuff I used to. All I focus on now is building and training the Chosen. I don’t fuck with people outside of Eden’s Gate.”

“Why the change?”

“I never cared about anything other than my brothers. I was in pain and I had the power to make others feel pain too. Nobody could stop me. The first time I saw you, it was like a switch flipped. I wondered if I could care about you. You almost were the one to stop me. Then when you said you wanted me, I knew I couldn’t pass that up. Then you telling me to leave you alone had me thinking about what I’d done to you. And others.” 

Em got up to her knees next to him. “Do you still want me?” Jacob asked her.

In response, Em placed her hands on his shoulders and slowly leaned in to cross the space between their faces. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she looked into his fierce blue eyes. Her gentle kiss on the cheek made Jacob close his eyes and exhale at the touch he had been so starved for. 

When she pulled away from his cheek, Jacob brushed her hair behind her ear and pulled her over to straddle his lap. 

His tough hands settled on her waist and looked up from her legs to her expectant eyes.

Softly, he placed his right hand on the back of her neck and she moved in for a real kiss this time. With heads slightly tilted, their noses touched first. Jacob had the rare look of desire in his eyes and closed the last bit of distance between their parted lips. 

Jacob gently enclosed Em’s bottom lip and took his time moving away. They felt a surge of intimate energy that spurred more kisses. Em realized how soft and kissable his lips actually were. Jacob forgot anything that wasn’t the act of kissing her. His eyes were closed and he allowed himself to just feel. The pair got more comfortable and settled into each other. Their kisses gradually became less gentle and more consuming. They were both so starved for this that they didn’t think they’d ever stop. They couldn’t get close enough. Em admired his beard and scarred skin with her grateful hands. Jacob kept pressure on her back and threaded fingers into her loose hair. 

Finally pulling away and out of breath, Em said, “I still want you.”

Jacob smiled and pulled them down to lay on the couch. He nuzzled her neck and kissed her jawline up to her lips. 

Em enthusiastically wrapped her limbs around him and continued to ride the high. Now he was her drug too, and they were both addicted.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Em pushes Jacob and her self to figure out their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief mention of past sexual abuse.

Jacob and Em laid on the couch in each other’s arms, casually watching a movie. 

“You know those recordings you play on a loop at some of your outposts?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, in my favorite one, that I heard when I was, you know, taking your outpost-“

He interrupted her boasting with tickles to her sides which had her squirming in his lap. 

When he finally stopped and allowed her to grab his wrists, she continued.

“Hey, okay, so listen. In my favorite one, you say, ‘We need to return to our natural state: hunters, warriors, animals.’ Animals. Why do you say animals?”

“If you listened to the recordings that closely you should know.” 

Em said nothing so Jacob sighed. 

“Why do you ask?”

They had shifted so that Jacob was on his back on the couch and Em was on his lap. Her hands rested on his stomach and were covered by his larger hands. 

Em ignored his question. “And Joseph said something like, ‘“The only way forward is to go back to the way things once were. So innocent and pure. Safe in our garden.’”

“Now, Dep, I know you’re not trying to understand Eden’s Gate ideology.”

“I just...I want to understand why we feel calmer around each other. We were complete assholes to each other. And if I don’t understand why there’s an attraction then it could end at any moment and I’d be even more clueless and upset.”

Jacob pulled Em down to his chest and kissed the top of her head. 

Em was crying now and spiraling in her mind. “I feel like I didn’t grow up to be who I was supposed to be.” 

“You ain’t grown up yet, kid. Trust me.” Jacob collected her hair away from her neck and his fingertips brushed her skin. She hugged him tighter. “Alright. I’ll humor you. Animals. Let’s think about wolves.”

Em gave a short laugh through her tears. He knew she found his affinity for wolves funny and endearing. 

“In packs of wolves, usually only the alphas mate. Maybe we think we’re the most alpha.”

“Hmm.”

“Or maybe it’s something else biological. Pheromones. Or the fact that you’re not scared of me. You’re actually kind of empathetic despite how tough you tried to act. And you think I’m strong and can protect you. I think you know that we’re both a little fucked up, and not from Eden’s Gate.”

She got what she wanted. She got Jacob’s short version of the analysis of their relationship. She thought it would make her feel better, but it actually felt like he’d opened a new set of wounds to address. She thought about her past and how it affected her to this day. 

“Did you ever date anyone?” she asked calmly.

Jacob huffed. “Yeah. Had a wife once.”

Em was shocked at this revelation. “What happened?”

“She died. Years ago. Things were different then. I was a little different.”

“I’m sorry.”

“S’okay. Was a long time ago. Thing is, when she died I thought I was fucked forever. You surprised me. You, just you being you, made me feel kinda like how I felt for my wife. Probably not the right thing to say to a woman. I’m not so practiced.”

Em looked at him intently. There it was. A convincing answer to why he liked her. A slight flush appeared on his face. Em held his bearded jaw with her delicate hand and pressed her lips to his. Jacob threaded his fingers into her hair and lightly tugged at the roots. With each open mouthed kiss Jacob surrendered the parts of himself he had hidden to her until now. Likewise Em forgot about her anxieties and became aware of only him, and getting more on top of him. She explored the colors and scars of his neck. Her tongue dragged along his muscles and felt the vibrations he made in response. His hands found her arms and waist and squeezed. 

Em pulled away and sat on his lap, staring at him with a pained look. 

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong now Emily?”

“I...I want you.”  
“Ha. I know that well enough, Deputy.”

“I just...uh...I really want you...and I need you to go slowly with me.” Em chose her words carefully. 

“Honey, I don’t know what kind of boys you’ve been with but I am a man. And I ain’t easy to scare away. Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

Em scoffed at him and the gears in her mind continued to work hard to find the right words. “Someone hurt me when I was younger. They hurt me...a lot...sexually. So every time I get worked up thinking about being with you I get whiplashed by these splices of bad memories.”

“You know I’m no coward, Emily. You know I’d never fuck around like that. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll follow your lead here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I do. I just feel like we should have a serious talk about these things, you know.”

“Let’s do it then.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob and Em do oral stuff for the first time.

Em sighed and stood up off the couch. After disappearing to the kitchen shortly, she returned to the living room drinking a glass of water. She brought one for Jacob too and set them both on the coffee table. His eyes were always on her, watching her mannerisms as she completed these simple, domestic actions. They were so much different from her combat he’d seen in Hope

Jacob sat on the couch with his legs spread apart. Em knelt between them and placed her hands on his knees. Slowly she ran her hands up his solid thighs to his hips. She rested her head on his right thigh. 

He thought it was strange of people to sit on the floor, but right now he sort of enjoyed her acting as his pet.

Jacob leaned forward and stroked her hair and neck. He rubbed her back over the thin soft fabric of her shirt. Em closed her eyes. She spoke carefully and with effort.

“I’m really not interested in getting pregnant. I have condoms and I’d like you to use them. I just really gotta know that you’re into me for me and not just for sex or just because I’m a female. Like you’re probably going to have to reassure me a lot, and check in with me, and let me know exactly what you’re doing.”

Jacob had never thought about sex so carefully before. It was never that big of a deal to him. It was more like a luxury, and after losing his wife he mostly took care of himself. 

Em was half expecting him to brush off her requests. Even though he could be gentle, she’d seen his rough side as well. But, he didn’t brush off her requests. He took them seriously.

“You got it, pup.”  
Em smiled, exhaled, and hugged his hips tighter. Being in this position was something she’d fantasized about since she watched Pratt shave Jacob. It was a dramatic move on Jacob’s part but it did the trick. It made her feel something. 

Now she was here in her own warm home. She was well fed and hydrated. It was all so different from her initial experiences with him. But, it wasn’t difficult to want to latch onto him. 

Jacob watched Em absentmindedly stare at his dick through his jeans, with her pupils dilated and thumbs circling the shirt fabric on his abdomen. 

“You alright there, pup?”

Em looked up at him and asked, “Can I touch you?”

Now Jacob’s pupils dilated and he nodded to her. 

Em’s left hand graced over his crotch. Little by little, she increased pressure and exploration. It was not long before the outline of Jacob’s thick cock was clearly visible through the jeans. Now Em lifted her head off of his thigh and undid his belt. Jacob soothingly rubbed her forearms and slid his bottom half toward the edge of the couch. 

Once his jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped, she did a half stroking motion over his boxers and he growled. It had been the longest time since someone had touched him like this, and she was perfection. 

She removed his impressive length from his navy boxers and it almost sprung out. It was a relief to have his restricted erection now in the open, and in her soft hand. 

Em ran her thumb alone the underside of him, feeling each ridge and vein. He was hard but smooth in all the right places. Her fingers on top were agonizingly gentle. She got to know his uniqueness and revelled in the honor of being this close to The Soldier. 

The sight of beaded pre cum at the slit of his pink head was like a magnet to her tongue. Her flat tongue curled around the head, then licked up the pre cum. Jacob’s head fell back against the couch and he gave a short gravelly moan followed by, “yesss.” 

With a pointed tongue she teased from the base to the tip a couple of times, then took him as far as she could comfortably go. After a few bobs, his cock was slick with her saliva. Her right pointer finger and thumb wrapped around his base and stroked where her mouth wasn’t reaching. This earned a louder moan from him, and pleasurable sounds from her throat. 

The veins and muscles in his strong neck tensed each time she took him deep in her throat. He pulled his head up to watch her, but she was already watching him. 

The sight of his rolling eyes and open mouth were making her wet. She was becoming aware of how empty she felt between her legs. She wanted him to fill her. 

She sucked harder and his cock began twitching in her mouth. She worked him over with her tongue while she sucked. Gripping her arms, his hips lifted slightly and he pumped his cum into her mouth. Her ears were blessed by his long and low moan, showing his absolute relief and pleasure. 

Em got off his dick and swallowed, very happy with her work. She stood between his knees and with eyes full of desire he immediately grabbed her ass with both of his big hands. His forehead rested against her lower abdomen before he looked up and asked, “Can I touch you?’ He was desperate to drive her wild. 

She nodded and answered, “Please.”

Jacob made quick work of her jeans and panties. It was a turn on to watch his confident fingers remove her clothes. She had his full attention. He wasn’t worried about any other thing in the world but pleasing her. 

He pushed the inside of her knee to widen her stance, and held her hips with both hands as he peppered kisses on her bare thighs. He dipped the pads of two calloused fingers slightly into her core, and she was slick. He moaned at this against her abdomen. 

His fingers rubbed her wetness through her lips and up to her clit. Finally he put one finger inside of her, then two. It was deliciously satisfying to have his fingers on her and in her. She could feel his intention of wanting to melt her. 

Finally Jacob pressed a flat and wet tongue to her slit and explored her folds. He took in the scent, taste, and feel of her, then focused on her clit. 

He made small, slow, gentle licks, savoring as if she were ice cream that would disappear faster if he were to press harder.

Every time he touched her in a particularly pleasurable way, her walls would squeeze around his fingers. She didn’t even know that her most vulnerable part was speaking to him and he was listening. He was studying.

When he started sucking on her soft gasps turned to moans, and then cries. She got closer to the crest and her cries got louder, uncontrollably more passionate and exemplary of her uncontainable pleasure.

He grabbed one of her legs and hooked it over his shoulder to open her up more, get closer, and support her as she began to shake. .

His continuous pressure pushed her orgasm to hit her and cries turned to full out moans, almost yelling. She gripped tightly to his shoulders in order to stay standing. 

There it was. She was free. No longer controlled or calculated. She was again an animal. Completely at his mercy but also rewarding him with her voice. Evidence of their complete sexual connection with her every exhaling moan. She was unashamed, and naked. 

She fell down with gradual waves. Her moans quieted and breath steadied. He gently pulled away and placed wet kisses up her abdomen and to her mouth. His hands roamed under her shirt and caressed her breasts. His strong arms supported her wobbly body. She consumed the taste and smell of herself on his lips, tongue, and beard. Now she was definitely latched onto him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut with some feels

Jacob pulled Em’s jeans up halfway and she did the rest. Once her jeans were buttoned, he pulled her onto his lap and held her.

Rubbing his beard against her cheek, he asked, “How was that? Was that okay?”

Em caressed his jaw and neck and replied, “Wonderful,” with a kiss and a nod. 

She and Jacob were more closely bonded now. He really want to protect her, and she him. 

If there was one purpose Jacob thought he had in life, it was to be a protector. He was for his brothers, and now he wanted to be there for Em. 

She had the empathy he lacked. He was controlled when she was compulsive. They were leaders. 

This pair was meant to build the world after the fallout. Or they would be soon, with the help of each other.  
-  
Jacob’s fit and naked figure knelt above an excited barely clothed Rook. His confident fingers opened a condom wrapper when Rook’s hand grabbed his wrist. 

“Can you, uh, show me how to put that on?”

Jacob nodded kindly and guided her hands to correctly roll the condom on.

Jacob leaned over her Rook and ran his thumb across her soft lips. 

“Are you still doing okay?”

When Rook did not answer, Jacob whispered on her cheek, “Let’s cool down, okay?”

She nodded. Jacob got up, found his t shirt on the floor, and helped her put it on. He also found his boxers and put those on after removing the condom and throwing it away. 

“Would you like me to lay down with you?”

Again Rook nodded. Jacob got into bed and covered them both with blankets. He held her close with her guidance. 

His erection was softening, but still mostly hard and Rook felt it poking at her. “So, you’re not upset?” 

“Of course not.”  
“But you’re still...” Rook gestured to his erection.  
Jacob was reminded of how poorly Rook had been treated in the past.  
“If I really wanted to, I would go in the bathroom and take care of it myself. I will never blame you for saying ‘no’. I will not question you for saying ‘no’.”  
-  
Visiting her and holding her was his favorite thing to do now. It was softening him, and that should have bothered him, but maybe getting a little softer wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for him. 

It had been years since he’d felt romantic love. There might be some bumps in the road for him and Em, but it was clear she cared for him. The best part was that she knew the worst things about him. Some of the worst things he’d ever done. And she still wanted to love him. She saw something better in him, and he saw a path for her.  
-  
Jacob ripped the condom wrapper with his teeth and quickly put it on, his lustful eyes roaming all over the gorgeousness that was Em. Her hair down and messy, a playful smile on her face. She laid on her back with her knees bent and feet flat on the mattress. Jacob slowly lifted under one knee at a time and gently pushed her legs open. 

He gathered wetness on his fingers and rubbed her sweetly. He bowed down to her and gave kisses to her clit, followed by warm strokes of his tongue. 

Rook responded with dreamlike gasps and gently petting his hair. 

When he climbed back up to her mouth, she said to him, “Can you, like, tease me? Just like rub your cock on me?” She had to close her eyes to say this. It took effort for her to be this open about what she wanted in bed, but it would be worth it. 

The feeling of his head just rubbing around her entrance was surprisingly disarming, and a feeling she’d forgotten existed. Maybe it never did exist for her, to have a man she absolutely wanted give her exactly what her body was begging for. 

The round slick head of his cock was what her body wanted inside. The contact gave her the best chills, all the way through to her fingertips. 

He was so happy, and almost in disbelief that his touch was making her feel so damn good. He could feel himself becoming addicted to this type of high. 

Her legs wrapped around his hips and pulled him closer to her. She wanted them to mesh and be one. It was impossible to get close enough. 

Her back arched and he wrapped his strong loving arms under her. He palmed her shoulder blades and grazed her spine with calloused fingertips, down to the base of her back. 

“Okay.” Em was ready to give it a go.

Jacob grabbed the lube on the night stand and slowly rubbed it on her and himself before wiping his hand with a tissue. 

“Slow, slow,” she said as she held his tip to her entrance. 

His pushing was met with resistance and he watched her face for any sign of pain. She just seemed focus and looking down between them. She let out a deliberate exhale. 

“Okay, you can push a little more.”

Just the head was making its way past her tight entrance. Jacob paused, held her face in his hands and kissed her. “Relax, sweetheart. Relax, alright?”

He could feel her relax and he was able to push more inside of her. Her body was so pleased and she rolled her head back. Jacob kissed her jaw and said, “Look at me. I want to see your eyes. Keep em on me.”

Doing this made her feel safer, more connected to him. Helped her overcome her shyness in bed. 

He had almost all of him inside when her fingertips against his hips signaled him to stop and let her adjust. 

Their exploration was drawn out. Em got to know his body. She got to trust that his body only wanted to pleasure her, and not use or harm her. 

She wanted him to fuck her til she was sick of it, til she couldn’t handle any more. 

“Can you, uh, just...just fuck me now. I just, I want you so bad.”

He kissed her deep and commanding, as he began languid thrusts. “Say more.”

“Fuck me so that I can feel you between my legs tomorrow. Make me remember this every time I move.”

Jacob gave an open mouthed exhale against her neck and kissed and sucked her warm skin. 

He pushed a little bit further, desperately chasing more of her, and she gasped shortly. The sound of her subsequent exhale was sweet as honey. Jacob’s mouth delivered traveling soft kisses and continuous filthy praise in a low gravelly voice. At the point of every dirty phrase she squeezed around him. 

He’d thrust in and up with purpose, slowly dragging along her hot and slick walls. For a moment he pulled out, and she snapped at the loss of him. He pushed his thick member against her lips and rubbed vaguely at her clit. She whined. Their mouths attempted to meet but were interrupted by the occupancy of silent moans. 

Em grasped at his hips with her fingernails and he got back inside her, nipping at her jaw. She arched her back and her breasts pushed against his chest. She gyrated her hips around and up to meet more of him. His every growl and moan was an absolute treat to her and forever in her memory. 

Em ran her hands over his back and up to the thick hair at the top of his head. She lightly tugged at the roots and he gave a sharper thrust with a louder groan. She gasped for air and tears leaked from her eyes as his pace became faster, more insistent, almost punishing.  
“Ah, oh my god.”  
“Tell me, sweetheart. Tell me please.” His deep and rough voice was naturally encouraging, especially in combination with the word “please.”

She breathlessly attempted to form coherent compliments between thrusts.

“So...fucking hot...god you’re so...damn good at this.” She ran her tongue and lips on his neck, ear, and jaw.

He growled in approval. 

His left forearm hooked under her right arm and his hand gently held the back of her neck. His right hand roamed her body down to her left knee and lifted it ever so slightly to create a new angle. He laid into her now. He pounded her with his cock over and over. 

“Oh, fuck!” He kept hitting a spot deep inside that was new to her. She was losing control and absolutely loving it. 

She was getting close. Insistently, she grabbed his face and begged with her eyes. Their bodies pressed and moved together, shamelessly chasing release.

They were lost from anything that wasn’t this room, this bed, this fuck. 

His thrusts pushed her and the sheets went with her up the bed. She became lightheaded fell of the cliff in rolling, relentless waves. He roared into her shoulder and came, then slowly relaxed on her with a pleased moan. 

He glanced to the bedside table and reached one long arm over to grab multiple tissues. He placed open mouthed kisses down her breasts and stomach and cleaned them up.

He found his t shirt and helped it on her. He found his boxers and put those on. She went to the bathroom and when she came out he had water and cookies. Now wasn’t the time to care about crumbs on the bed. Now was perfect. 

Jacob held out one arms, gesturing her to curl up next to him. When she did, he kissed the top of her head.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like calling Em "Rook" in this chapter. Got some fluffy stuff plus anxiety when the nukes drop.

Rook and her big orange cat Tommy sat on the couch and watched a movie she thought might make her feel better, but her mind was still on Jacob. His 1911 was in a dresser drawer in her bedroom.   
This morning, he left to deal with things at St. Francis, which reminded Rook that he was still protecting his brother’s cult. He purposely left the 1911 at her house, along with some clothes that accumulated there over the past few weeks.   
As he kissed her goodbye, he could tell that she was mildly upset. They both were becoming addicted, which they thought made them vulnerable purely because of the longing they felt when they were apart. But maybe, she thought, if they were always together, they could make each other stronger, and protect one another.  
Rook felt sour. Her PTSD symptoms were flaring up at the thought of St. Francis. She needed to make peace with this if she was going to be with him.   
She took some sleeping meds and passed out hard on the couch.  
A few hours later Rook woke up to Tommy’s loud crying meows and paws pushing on her chest.   
She was groggy and confused at the dim brightness outside. It wasn’t the sunset. It was fire half a mile away. The sound of a sonic boom assaulted her ears.   
Was it a dream? No. This is it, she thought. It was surreal. The nukes had finally dropped.   
Rook stared at Tommy for several moments, thinking about what she needed to do now.  
There was nothing she could do for Honey, except open her gate and hope she’d run until finding a safe spot.   
Within 10 minutes she had most of her favorite possessions in her bunker.   
She couldn’t stop thinking about Jacob, even though she knew he’d be safe in his own bunker. She thought of her family. She cried at the change that was coming. She felt she could not handle it.   
While making her last run to the bunker, with her cat in her arms, Jacob’s truck sped up her driveway and skidded to a halt, tires throwing gravel and dust.   
A wave of relief washed over her. Here was her rock. He was what she needed. She ran to him and squished Tommy between them in a hug. Jacob kissed the top of her head and noted the tears on her cheeks.   
Jacob took a step back and held her shoulders, looking in her eyes intently.   
“We need to hurry,” he said with a nod.  
Rook responded with a weak nod and followed him throwing duffel bags down into her bunker. She wondered why he was here and why he was putting his things in her bunker.  
Now she was in a full blown panic attack and needed to get to safety. Her breathing was too fast and erratic. The fire was growing too close for comfort.   
“Rook!” Jacob yelled. His voice was a little dulled by the sound of falling trees and other thunderous booms.  
Rook felt frozen. She was looking at her body from outside herself. All of her feelings swirled and crashed in her mind. Why did I kill all those people? Why aren’t I with my family? Why am I so close with Jacob? How can I-  
Her panicked doubts were interrupted by Jacob’s protective arms and chest. He rushed her down to the bunker and locked the steel doors. It was so quiet in this bunker. The sounds outside were barely audible.   
Jacob was dripping with sweat and soot in his effort to get to her. Stupid. He thought to himself. Why’d I fucking leave her. If he had been with her when the first bomb hit, he could have taken her to his stronger bunker. He doubted she’d like living with Peggies very much anyway. Doesn’t matter. This is where we’re at now.  
Rook let Tommy jump to the ground and explore the bunker. Her eyes were distant.   
“Honey,” Jacob was trying to get through to her. “I know. I know you need rest but we have to get these clothes off and get clean before anything else.” He was as calm as ever.  
Jacob went to the bunker’s bathroom and started the shower. He led her to it and undressed the both of them.   
The last thing Rook’s anxiety needed right now was someone touching her naked body. But with him it wasn’t what she expected. With him she felt safe and cared for. Jacob stayed focused and efficient, quickly finding soap and towels. He was gentle and did his best not to trigger her.  
Rook stared at the tile shower floor, soot mixing with water and going down the drain. She breathed with intention, focusing on the feeling of hot water on her skin.   
Jacob’s strong fingers kneaded and scrubbed her hair and scalp. It felt good. He rubbed with soapy hands down her neck and shoulders, arms, torso, and he knelt to wash her legs. He rested his forehead against the side of her thigh. A squeeze of her heel lifted her foot to allow him to clean it.   
After Rook was clean, she watched Jacob clean his own body. She leaned against the shower wall and her eyes wandered over the muscles, freckles, hair, and scars. She reached a hand out to brush against his chest.   
Jacob put down the soap and took her in his arms. They stood there for half a minute, until Jacob planted a kiss on her forehead and turned off the shower.   
Water dripped from their bodies when they stepped out. Jacob dried her off first with a soft towel, and wrapped it around her shoulders.   
He shook a towel over his red hair, and tucked it around his waist. Jacob took momentary glances at her while he dug through his clothing duffel and dressed in gray sweatpants and a soft blue t shirt.   
Rook put on multiple layers of the most comfortable clothing she had in the bunker.   
They got into bed and she got close to him, gladly accepting the heat his body offered. The bombs were still dropping and he held her loosely. She took another pill. She figured now was a worthy time to take one of her limited supply. They fell asleep, to escape the sounds of end for just a few hours. 

As she fell asleep, she couldn’t help but think about why she was in Montana in the first place, and why she wasn’t with her family.   
When she left Dutch’s bunker after he rescued her from the river, she could have laid low. She could have taken out just one roadblock and gone home. Would it really have worked? She has a feeling she would have been caught by the Seeds anyway. Better to be a fighter than a prisoner, right?   
Rook figured she gave up her right to respect and fair treatment after her first unnecessary kill. The first kill that was not out of self defense, or to stop someone else from coming to immediate harm, or saving a hostage. Her first sniper kill. She was 150 meters away. It was a headshot. An Eden’s Gate soldier at Boomer’s house. She knew that the soldier had some part in murdering and torturing for the cult. It didn’t stop her momentary emotional lapse in the orchard. She started crying, and tried the hardest she’d ever tried in her life to stop crying. She could see the sudden blood on the Peggie’s forehead where there formerly was none.   
Her last preemptive kill was one of Jacob’s men. She sniped them near a radio tower. Where’s the adrenaline? She thought. She worried why she wasn’t feeling adrenaline after killing a person. At that point she’d become an efficient killing machine. She pushed her bad feelings down, down, down, to deal with later.   
She was dreaming about the gore. She knew she was dreaming about it and in her head she tried to jerk herself awake.   
It must have worked enough to prompt Jacob to gently shake her awake.  
“Honey,” he said with a sleepy and raspy voice. He gently stroked her shoulder.  
Thank god he’s here.  
Rook turned on her side to face him. He was propped up on one elbow, searching her face for anything.   
She stared back at him and grounded herself. She slowly pulled her mind away from the dream and into the warm bed, with Jacob next to her.   
So handsome.  
Jacob chuckled. She must’ve said that out loud.   
Rook placed the responsibility of distancing Jacob from the cult on her shoulders, even though he did physically distance himself from them in a major way, and by his own choice. He was still close to them by association in her mind.   
“You’ve gotta tell me what you’re thinkin, Babe,” he said.   
Babe.  
It took her half a minute to build up courage to speak about it.   
“I had a dream about killing a...Peggie.”  
“Yeah?” He tried to sound encouraging. He needed her to be open with him.   
“And the memory of that eventually connects to you.”  
“That’s right.”  
“It makes me confused. Because I like you so much. And I hate the cult so much.”  
Jacob huffed a soft laugh. “I don’t like em all that much either. And I know you’re mad about the things I’ve done.”  
Rook exhaled. She was in relief that he wasn’t actually upset or irrational. Not even in a backhanded way. Bad behavior is what she came to expect from most people. He was always the image of composure.   
Rook placed her small hand on his cheek and said quietly, “I missed you while you were gone.” Rook would have said, “today” at the end, but she felt like she’d missed him all her life.   
“I missed you too.” It was a warm whisper from him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My babes have got a new purpose.

“Sheriff was right in the name he gave me. I am a rook. I’ve always been a rook.”

Jacob furrowed his brows at her.

“I’m a lap dog and a henchman, doing the dirty work for the bosses. For Whitehorse, for Eli, for you.”

Rook got up and fished Jacob’s red 1911 out of one of her duffel bags. She walked back to Jacob, still sitting on the bed, and leaned her shins against his knees. “Here.”

Jacob took his handgun and looked it over. Gently he held Em’s right hand in his and closed his eyes. He pressed his lips to the back of her hand and looked up at her. 

Jacob put the gun down on the bed next to him, then touched his fingertips to the side of Em’s neck. While he stood up, his fingers slithered to the back of her neck and his thumbs felt the spots between her ear and jaw. Her heartbeat was slow. 

Now he towered over her physically and the look in her eyes was defiant.

Jacob shook his head.

“No. You’re not a rook anymore.” 

Em’s eyes dropped from Jacob’s and he slightly pushed her jaw up with his thumbs, prompting her to resume eye contact.

“In this new world...when we come back up...you’re the queen.”

Jacob watched Em imagine the flashes of powerful scenarios where she and Jacob so rightfully took their places in the new world.

She came back to him and smiled. Her eyes were clear now. 

Jacob proudly returned the smile and kissed her. It didn’t feel like medicating anymore. It felt like celebrating the life they had underground, even though everything above was burning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
